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Wilfred’s Romance Novel

March 30, 2010

In a desperate attempt to use my Creative Writing degree for monetary gain, I’ve decided to write a smutty romance novel / memoir. Before Penguin Press or Random House get their paws on it, I’m going to leak some excerpts on this blog.

The two entered his darkened apartment, knowing that ahead of them was a passionate night of sex, or, at least, a rubbing of each others bikini areas. They looked into the others eyes as she sensually leaned against the door. Her bosom, smaller than he desired, stood forward, stretching the fabric of her shirt. Slowly, he approached her, ready to punch her in the mouth with his lips.

Pressing their bodies, she placed her palm against the crotch of his jeans. “Wilfred, I’ve been a bad girl,” she said.

“Really? What did you do?” he replied.

Her kisses spread across his neck, while she unbuckled his pants. The alcohol she drank made her more daring, and the lactose he had made him more gaseous. Unable to contain his flatulence, he tried to sneak out a small ounce of relief.

“What was that?” she asked.

“The door, probably.”

“Are you sure? That didn’t sound like the door,” she replied.

“Yeah, sometimes the door farts,” he said. “Wierd, huh? It’s an old building.”

2 Comments leave one →
  1. dragonjockey permalink
    April 3, 2010 7:48 pm

    Very steamy; I like it.

  2. casey permalink
    April 19, 2010 11:51 pm

    You just rocked my world.

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