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I Hate U

March 14, 2010

Starbucks Customer

I saw you at Starbucks. Then I saw you see me. Then I saw you erupt in laughter. What was so funny, lady? Strawberry frappachinos are fucking delicious. Especially when you add sprinkles.

  • When: Sunday, March 7, 2010
  • Where: Starbucks Downtown
  • I hate a: Woman
  • I am a: Darius

Tanning Salon Employee

Why should I take off my clothes in the tanning booth? I can’t tan under my chest hair.

  • When: Thursday, February 18, 2010
  • Where: Tanning Salon, Broadway
  • I hate a: Man
  • I am a: Darius

Mold Removal

You came to our house and informed us that the mold could only be controlled by tearing down the wall and replacing it. I don’t really hate you, I’m just pissed there isn’t an easier solution.

  • When: Monday, March 1, 2010
  • Where: My house
  • I hate a: Man
  • I am a: Wilfred

Mom at Public Pool

I’m in the kiddy pool because I don’t know how to swim, not to fuck your little girl. I’ve got a girlfriend, I don’t need a 4 year-old on the side.

  • When: Friday, February 26, 2010
  • Where: Meredith Matthews YMCA
  • I hate a: Mom
  • I am a: Wilfred
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