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In The News

February 23, 2010
  • In a speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference Saturday, Glenn Beck shared that if it weren’t for the consequences, he would be drunk at all times. This shocked many listening who thought that he was drunk at all times.
  • Venezuelan president, Hugo Chavez, took action Tuesday as he demanded Britain to return the Falkland Islands to Argentina. “And, while you’re at it,” Chavez added, “throw in some white girls.”
  • Dick Cheney is expected to be released from the hospital within the next two days after suffering a mild heart attack. In their reports, doctors said “His quick recovery surprised us. We thought he was dead before the heart attack.”
  • President Obama announced that all states will be required to design standards that will make students “college ready.” So far, many states have designed programs that will teach students how to memorize their roommates’ schedule and masturbate alone in the dorm.
  • Thursday, UN weapons inspectors, for the first time, declared that Iran seeks to weaponize its nuclear stocks. “Yeah, we know,” said the world.

This Thursday, you can find Wilfred performing at

The Duo Improv Comedy Showcase.

Thursday, 8:30 pm @ The Market Theater

For more info, visit improvseattle.com.

 

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